Confession of a Confused Mommy.


Amethyst. 5 years old. Soon, she will be turning 6. A graduating Senior CASA. She used to be in the afternoon session. Just 2weeks after they were back to school, from their Christmas vacation, she needed to transfer to the first session with extended school hours, from 7:30 to 1:30pm, because of their preparation activities for the graduation.
Pearl. 4 years old. An entering CASA.
Amethyst and Pearl are siblings. They are my daughters, actually. They used to be in the same class at the afternoon, from 1:30 to 4:30pm. Because, ‘Ate’, that’s what we call Amethyst, the elder sister, needs to go in school earlier, I have to ask our housemate, Angel, to go and wait for Pearl. They’re both school bus riders, by the way.
Here’s what I’m going through right now.
Thursday morning. Amethyst has been complaining of tummy ache. Being the concern of a father as he is, my husband asked Angel to go and wait for her instead. I thought that was all.
Thursday night. Amethyst complained of another tummy ache. Insisting that Angel needs to go and wait for her again because her tummy still ached. She was crying.
Friday morning. Still the same scenario.
Friday night. Yet another same scenario but Amethyst was more emotional. She didn’t listen even if I told her that we will go see the doctor on Saturday. She just kept on insisting that Angel must go with her because her tummy aches. Anyway, in school, no one is allowed inside the classroom. She cannot go near its premises. There is only a designated waiting area for the parents/guardians. If Angel will go with her, she will just sit down and wait for more than 6 hours until Amethyst was finished with her session.

What I felt was different. What’s wrong? Why all of a sudden, after 3 years of schooling, she has to insist that somebody must go with her. Even if I gave her the assurance that after we saw the doctor everything will be fine, but she wouldn’t listen. She just cries. I think it’s really not her tummy but I cannot doubt what my daughter was saying, maybe she really needed someone to see her tummy that’s why I insist otherwise, to see the doctor. But why did she needs to insist what she wants? Did she needs to be more secured? Was it jealousy? Or, maybe she was just being pressured because of the pile of these lessons new to her. How can I explain things with her? How can I convince her that she can do it? How can I assure her that there was no need to be afraid nor to be worried? I can ask Angel to go with her for a week but what if it wasn’t the best solution? What if it will just worsen the situation? Was I really confused? Please stop crying. I really needed more than just a mind but a heart of a mother.

Praying for a heart full of empathy,


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